all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
