there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
