A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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