i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
