What a fucking waste of an outfit
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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