No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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