hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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