So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
