I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
