I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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