i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
