My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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