I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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