The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
