i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
