Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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