im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize