this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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