What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you win again, gameday.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
