It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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