We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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