ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am available for nakedness
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
