I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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