so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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