It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
