why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
