nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
NoShamevember. You game?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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