..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This toilet bowl is my home.
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