the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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