these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
