So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
