Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
