hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
