I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
