Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize