Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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