you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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