I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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