One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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