On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
