I am spending my child support on dildos
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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