Pappa wants mamma naked
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
