I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
