well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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