I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
