Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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