Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
