its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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