bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
