apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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