i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
