Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Randomize
