Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
