Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have feelings that need drinking.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
