the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
