And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
