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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.

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• (646): View more from New York

  Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?

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• (509): View more from Washington

  So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.

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