she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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