I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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